This tea time, as I was watching the build up to the Olympics Opening Ceremony, Sasha surprised me by noticing the 5 Olympic rings on the TV. She stated the colours and then nodded when I explained it was for the Olympics.
Of course she would know that, they've been taught about it in school. The thing is, Sasha doesn't necessarily take everything in that she's told, as she rarely stops long enough to listen or show an interest. If it isn't about numbers or counting from 1 to 10 in Spanish, it's not high on her list of activities.
After I mentioned the Olympics, she immediately asked if she could go. I said probably not as she wouldn't enjoy it, and she asked if it was for grown-ups only. At that point I had to admit no, it was for big girls too - without actually directly mentioning Tamsin would be going. She insisted she was a big girl, so she could go.
And therein lies today's problem and pang of guilt.
Back when tickets were released, we did apply for (and get, although only in the second ballot) two lots of four tickets for some events. We hoped to go as a family, but didn't really give it much thought in the intense excitement of applying for tickets.
As the time has grown closer though, we've passed by other events such as the Jubilee - street parties, flotilla, Olympic torch viewing etc - and realised that they're not really Sasha's 'bag'. I vetoed the idea then of taking her into London where there would be thousands of others crushed together, on the streets and on public transport, where she would have to wait around, walk some distance and not get to see very much. Even when I took her to an all-girls' birthday party recently, she couldn't step inside the party room whilst the other girls who she knew were running around laughing and shouting - all too much noise for her.
So it was with some certainty that I finally decided a few weeks ago that there was no point in taking Sasha to an Olympic event. Even if she could cope with all the 'palaver' of actually getting to the venues, it was highly unlikely that she would be happy to sit still and watch what was going on when she didn't really understand it (and no-one was counting in Spanish to her). I gave her 5 minutes tops before she would have wanted to leave the stadium.
We exchanged our 4 synchro tickets for two lots of two tickets, for gymnastics and diving, so that Chris and I could each take Tamsin to an Olympic event. We held on to the four athletics tickets, still thinking it was the chance of a lifetime, and trying to decide what to do for the best. I think we were putting off the inevitable, rather than hoping for a miracle improvement.
Just last week though, we decided to sell two of them. Sasha not going to the athletics means me not going to the Olympic park at all, and on a selfish front I am slightly sad about that of course. On the flipside, I'm glad Tamsin will now get to experience the event with Chris and one of her school friends and her mum - I'm sure they will talk about it in years to come.
But was it the right decision?
Maybe other parents will think I'm crazy for not letting Sasha have this experience. Was it worth the try? I know Sasha better than anyone, and so I am 99.9% sure it wasn't, but that doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it. Will she realise she has missed out? Maybe. But somehow I don't think my angel will hold a grudge.