As I've just posted the following words on my Facebook page, I decided it might be worth keeping the memory here on my blog of how Christmas Shows and Autism have worked, or not, for us. It's not a pity post I promise, but I did think it was worth mentioning that right now, the whole of Sasha's junior school are in church, performing their Christmas show for all the parents.
I'm not there (obviously) because Sasha decided not to join in this time. Her reason was because it was being held in the Church, in the evening, for the first time, rather than at school during the day. She's never been a fan of the Church (takes after her Dad!); I'm guessing largely because a) she doesn't understand it and b) because it's somewhere you are expected to sit quietly for quite some time.
It's a shame in terms of the show because she has actually grown in confidence over the years; she's got a brilliant memory and fab comic timing (just like her older sister) so I feel she could have learnt a good part and performed well with her classmates. On the other hand, it may have gone the way it did for her drama end of term show (which I wrote about in my last post - a sudden dip in confidence).
Just to be clear, I am in no way bitter with the school for changing venue and time, I'm sure there were good reasons and many parents are happier with this. I totally appreciate all the effort which staff put in to make these special occasions happen - and the fact that Sasha has walked to the church in rain 3 times this week to watch her peers rehearse is nothing short of a miracle!
So instead I got to stay home and make some cakes for the festive bake sale at school tomorrow. I'm wondering if there will actually be another Christmas fair at this school for our youngest girl; there's never any guarantee even though officially she should have another year to go. So it could be my last festive cake sale, just as the last Christmas show may have been my last even though I didn't know it.
I also read this post from Hunters Life tonight and it reminded me of many of the feelings I've been through over the years, when Sasha has or hasn't been able to perform in assemblies or shows at school. These feelings are experienced by many mums who have children with SEND (special educational needs and disabilities). Please do have a quick read: www.hunterslife.co.uk/nativity
On the flip side of all this, I get the huge contrast of having an older girl who performed as one of the leads in her end of Junior school show, and who is currently appearing on a real proper stage as part of a Christmas show locally. I'm proud of both my girls, for very different reasons
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