Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Our PDA Story {week 24}

Time for week 24 in my newly relaunched series 'Our PDA Story'. I'm handing my blog over to others who live with the type of autism called Pathological Demand Avoidance, so that they can share with us how life is.
our pda story logo with rainbow people

This week's contributor writes a very informative blog of her own called Riko's Blog, PDA and more. It provides a great insight into thoughts and feelings of someone living with PDA. You can also find her on Riko's PDA Page on Facebook. Her post Ten things not to say about PDA is one of my favourites. Here, she talks about solutions and how to make life PDA friendly.


This PDA Family.

My name is Riko and I'm a PDAer, I live with my 3 kids (Polar Bear, Monkey and Ton), they are PDA too. We are a PDA Family lol.
It's a very different life to most people's, we have very few rules here, everyone is treated equally and everyone is treated with respect. We are all mostly happy and calm.

Since finding out about PDA I have changed a lot of the ways I do things at home, this has helped a lot. I was never very good at 'laying down the law' and enforcing rules anyway, not just because they didn't work but because it didn't feel right to me. I never could understand why society is so focused on forcing kids to do things we adults don't do.

Our lives are fairly quiet, we sometimes get a lot of appointments all at once and some days loads of events happen at the same time, but we also have lots of down time to rest and recover. I've noticed when we've been out somewhere, like to a museum or play group, that all of us need several hours - several days to recover. Our home educated lifestyle helps provide this.

I try to make everything as fair as possible, and I have everyone's needs and preferences to consider, including my own. The kids usually wake whenever they are ready and mornings are a slow process unless we have to be somewhere. Breakfast is whatever everyone chooses and can range from cereal or fruit to ice lollies or nothing. PDAers generally have a varied diet anyway so this fits.
The day is spent following our own different interests, with me facilitating as much as possible. The kids learn so much from just doing normal everyday activities and even screens can teach them more than I anticipated. As I found out when we went to a museum to learn about dinosaurs only to find Polar Bear already knew all their names, habitats, feeding habits, etc, from Minecraft.

It's important that I model as much as possible because that's the best way PDAers learn and change. It's no good me telling the kids to say 'please' and 'thank you' because that will just become a demand to avoid. But by ensuring I say these things to them as needed I have found they will automatically use them without any demand at all.

It's very difficult to juggle parenting, teaching, my kid's needs and my own health needs along with the usual housework, chores and finding time to rest. While things might be far calmer and far easier, it is also extremely exhausting for me. I won't lie, it's not easy, but it is better. I can see what the kids need and tailor things to them, this means far less meltdowns and far less controlling behaviour. They feel (I hope) respected, loved and an equal part of this family.
I do still struggle hugely with demand avoidance and have to employ every tactic I have available just to get through each day. I've learnt to put my own needs aside to go running when the kids call, I've learnt to explain why I or they cannot do something in short sentences all with a smile on my face, I've created a sensory heaven in my bedroom for me to retreat to when needed, I've learnt to pick my battles and not push learning some skills on the kids just because society deems them necessary (like eating with a knife and fork, who really cares), I've learnt keeping myself hydrated is essential (no I don't mean wine, though I am developing a taste for it), I've learnt it doesn't matter if the dishes aren't always done, I've learnt that it's fine if the kids eat take out sometimes (okay once or twice a week, but they're trying new foods so that's good). I've learnt how to juggle 3 kids, a pram and a heavy bag onto public transport without having a screaming meltdown. I've learnt how to manage events and outings successfully so that everyone leaves mostly happy and with as few meltdowns as possible (go out rarely, take lots of spending money, don't force the kids to do anything they don't want to do and be prepared to leave after half an hour. Oh and take food).

The most important thing I've learnt is that you can lead a happy and (mostly) calm life with PDAers, you just need to throw convention out of the window, stick two fingers up to societal expectations and do what works for you.


Thanks for taking the time to read. It would help lots if you can share this post further; in groups, on Facebook or Twitter, any way you choose. Just one more person reading who may not have otherwise seen it will help spread understanding.

Please do leave any comments of support below; for more reading about Pathological Demand Avoidance, please see my blog post 'Challenging Behaviour and PDA'.

PDA can be mistaken for ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder); my most read post explains the difference between PDA and ODD.

To read previous examples of living with PDA, visit This is our PDA story. This includes experiences from girls, boys, young and old, and includes others from adults diagnosed with PDA.

If you feel up to sharing your experiences with my readers to help spread understanding (this can be anonymously), please email

The PDA Society webpage is full of helpful information, and a great variety of resources can be found on the PDA Resource website. 

The PDA Society are holding a PDA conference in Birmingham on 18th April 2018.  The keynote speakers are definitely worth listening to and there will be plenty of discussion. 

Pathological Demand Avoidance Society website

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Inclusion. Mainstream or Special?

What is 'inclusion'? What does inclusion mean to you? Looking more specifically at children and education, should inclusion be in a mainstream or a special school? Or somewhere else?

I've written about inclusion before and even attended an event all about it (see my post 'Unconference', which has some links to great writing on inclusion). I've also previously asked the question 'Should all schools be inclusive?' (my answer to that is definitely yes, by the way).
Stephs Two Girls playing vertical hanging xylophone outdoors

Recently I heard a quote which had me nodding my head vigorously. I can't claim these words as my own, but I totally agree with the sentiment:

'Inclusion does not mean mainstream. It means a sense of belonging.'

This is EXACTLY what my girl wants right now. She wants to belong. She doesn't care what type of school she goes to, or what Ofsted think of it; she cares about the environment and the people who are in it. Last June, when she stopped attending her mainstream school, she didn't say 'I want to stay home'. She said 'I want to go some place where there are other children like me'.

School had not been a happy place for Sasha for some time and the fact that she was different from the other mainstream children had dawned on her slowly. Eventually, when we reached breaking point, she was unable to express her feelings in a manner which many other children her age would be able to. However she did manage to communicate clearly that she felt she was in the wrong place.

It wasn't that the school was wrong, or that staff weren't trying to help her or include her. It was her own characteristics, and the anxiety which goes along with Pathological Demand Avoidance, which stopped her from feeling like she fitted in. She wasn't able to converse with her peer group on their level and understand how their minds worked. Autism is a lifelong disability and this extreme anxiety is with her for life; she may be able to learn strategies to cope in some situations, but she can't change who she is (and nor should she have to, but that's a conversation for another time).

Why try and bash that square peg into a round hole? Trying to include someone in mainstream who will never feel included is a pointless exercise.

Although the mainstream peer group who Sasha was growing up with were lovely and inclusive to her, our girl eventually realised that those children knew they had to treat her differently. Sasha felt that she wanted to be around other children of her age who are also different. If given the option to attend a special school, it will be a learning disability school, and challenges may still arise as we discover whether she can cope with those differences in reality.

Making that switch from mainstream to special school is a big step, and I echo a lot of these sentiments expressed by Tina over at Joseph and his Amazing Spectrum Coat. Letting go of Sasha's old mainstream school wasn't actually all that difficult for me, in the knowledge that it wasn't right for her. Sitting home with Sasha while knowing that all her peers are experiencing their final year in primary school is tough - for me. Thinking of all the exciting end of school life activities planned such as trips and discos and all the hugs and laughter among classmates makes me feel emotional. Meanwhile, Sasha is not dwelling on it and isn't bothered about missing out on all these events. 

Special school though. Is that right? It does sometimes feel as if there is some sort of stigma attached to special schools. The words are almost said in a staged whisper by some. Personally I don't feel embarrassed to talk about this type of provision, or feel that it is in any way 'less' of a school. 
circle with word inclusion inside and lots of people holding hands outside

I also don't really subscribe to the idea that special schools are 'hiding children away from society'. Often, the special schools make extra efforts to involve their children in society. Family time can be a better time to learn about society rather than when facing the daily pressures of a mainstream school. That said, I am still pleased that Sasha's classmates had the chance to get to know her and understand her differences a little. That was never the focus or the reason for me having Sasha in a mainstream school though; we were always doing what we thought best for Sasha at that time.

It's been suggested to me at different stages along the way that a special school won't be the right environment for Sasha as it will limit her academic potential. The truth is, mainstream was most definitely limiting her academic potential, by not being able to stray too far from a rigid mainstream curriculum. Most mainstream schools can't allow children to focus on their strengths or learn a variety of subjects through the medium of one special interest (Pokemon in Sasha's case!). We've yet to discover how flexible a special school could be, but we have high hopes.

It's true though, that I'm not completely convinced that the path we are taking will be the right one for Sasha. Sadly, we have no other option. My dreams of a free school run by the National Autistic society were dashed over four years ago and there has been no progress since. In our county, there are mainstream schools and then there are learning disability schools. No units or bases which take children with autism at a secondary level. Very few establishments at all which specialise in autism; any specialist schools are all privately run and too far away for us to consider. As long ago as 2011 I wrote the following in a post:

'I've found out recently that a child Sasha's age will be starting at a special school for dyspraxia in September, where the class size is just 10 and there is a lot of support staff available. Sasha on the other hand, really only has 2 choices - either a mainstream school with no special unit attached or a MLD (moderate learning difficulties) special school. In my mind, Sasha really fits somewhere in between these 2 options, with neither offering her the best chance to develop her potential. 

I still really don't know what to think about it all. Is it fair? Dyspraxia is a disability which affects movement and co-ordination. It leads to problems with language, perception and thought. However Sasha's disability also affects her language, and her ability to learn on those days when she can't cope, and she certainly will need extra help at school. So why is there a special school suitable for one type of Special Needs child, but not another? It's not even as if autism is a rare condition - the stats say 1 in 100 children will have autism. I think it's a real possibility that Sasha will not 'fit' into mainstream as she grows up, and I know Mums of older children have turned to homeschooling at the secondary stage because of the lack of options. Although my own mum was a teacher, it's not something I ever thought I had the skills to do, and I can't imagine teaching Sasha at home would be the best option for her. Maybe we need to start campaigning and saving now to build our own secondary school for autistic children... someone help me win the lottery please!'

So for over seven years, the local authority have been aware of Sasha, and knew that we were likely to reach this point of dropping out of mainstream. Of course I didn't expect them to create a special provision just for her, but from speaking with other parents locally, I know there are many autistic children who struggle with mainstream but who are not classed as having a learning disability. There are no other options for them in terms of schooling.

For some children, the current school system in this country is never going to work. 

By 'some', I mean quite a lot. If I had more time, I'm sure I could pull some stats together for you to show the number of children out of school right now; excluded or educated at home. What would be far more difficult to prove, is the number of children who are unhappy in their current setting, and all those who are classed as school refusers. As I've mentioned before, I'm not a fan of the term 'school refusal' as it implies the child is actively choosing not to attend, rather than the true situation which, more often than not, is that the environment is not right for them.

Children not liking school has been happening since the beginning of time though, right? Why are we still having these discussions? Again, I'm no expert on the stats front, but I *think* that, for a variety of reasons, the number of children with SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) is increasing year on year. It feels as if there is very little forward planning being done to take this increase into account, in any aspects of education, health or social care. 'Super-size' secondaries need to share the space with smaller, more specialised settings. Or maybe just smaller settings where everyone can be themselves? One thing is for sure - the system needs to change.

My ultimate aim is for Sasha to be happy, and to have a sense of belonging. Inclusion is only relevant if that's what she asks for.

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Monday, 29 January 2018

Monday Motivation: Inspiration

At the end of last week I'd hoped to be able to share some good news about Sasha's future but sadly nothing materialised. As much as I want to describe what's been happening on here, it's just not possible right now - which of course only adds to the frustration. Trying to summon up any Monday Motivation for this week was proving to be somewhat of a challenge, if I'm honest.
Picture of Sasha holding a foam heart

Moments before this photo was snapped on a rare trip out of the house, Sasha grabbed this heart and said to me ', mum'. 

I realised that there is inspiration and motivation all around. I see it in so many people, locally and online. Usually I'm not a fan of naming or tagging people as I understand the feelings which can arise as a result of not having been named - and I know these feelings are even more intense for those who suffer from low self-esteem. However, for my own sake I felt it was worth highlighting a few of those others who inspire me. There are of course many more than I can name in one blog post, so I'm hoping no-one will be upset by the lack of a mention. Here goes with a few nods to those who inspire me: 

Renata is an amazing mum who has had much to contend with but who still gives up her time voluntarily to help improve services for other local families. Renata used to blog over at Just Bring the Chocolate and I always admired her writing and creative style. I'm in awe of how she finds time to balance the needs of her own family with helping others. Over the past few years Renata has teamed up with another amazing parent; Tania from Special Needs Jungle who has dedicated so much time to providing important, honest information for other parents in the SEND world. One of the first sources of information I found after Sasha's diagnosis, and I know she has helped countless other families along the way.

I've talked about Steph from Was This In The Plan before on my blog. Her honesty and attitude to life continue to amaze me, and the way she has committed to teaching others through her difficult times will always inspire me.

Then there's the amazing Yvonne Newbold, who, despite living with Stage 4 cancer, devotes so much of her time to training and educating and helping others. I can't possibly list everything she is doing but one example is workshops for parents, carers and those who work with people with autism and learning disabilities, offering strategies and help with topics such as violent and challenging behaviour and puberty.

Jenny is a local Guide group leader who gives up plenty of her time and energy to encourage young girls to bond and complete all sorts of activities, despite having her own health issues and family challenges to contend with. She used to blog over at Cheetahs In My Shoes but hasn't had much time of late, largely because she's so generously giving to others.

At this point I'd like to mention all the parents locally who give up their time to run support groups and clubs which help others. This might be those who run specific Lego clubs for the children, and those who organise specific 'condition-based' coffee mornings. It's all those who have grouped together as a bigger team to offer everything from training and information sessions to online support, to days out for children with additional needs. It's also those who have tried hard to encourage new social friendships where they've felt there was a real need. Lots of these parents have challenges of their own at home and yet still give to others. I'm thinking of many great local lovelies with all of the above, and a fair few that I know of further afield, but of course there's too many to mention individually.

Next on my Inspire list (not that it's in any particular order) is Hayley from Downs Side Up. She has a real passion for spreading understanding and making others think more. If you haven't watched her brave and inspirational TedX talk yet then I'd urge you to do so - and then share it far and wide. 

If you don't yet follow Laura from Mum on a Mission then you really should - her Instagram Stories are hilarious! Laura manages to stay positive despite the barriers she and her son are facing, and she's behind a very successful petition to get retailers to change their ways. Rachel, Sarah and other Laura are other amazing names which spring to mind when talking about the Changing Places campaign.

Emma from Emma4FacsUK has helped lead a very successful campaign about the dangers of taking a certain epilepsy medication whilst pregnant. I'm in awe of her tireless work and campaigning whilst being mum to her six children. 

Another non-stop mum is the fab Debs from Chaos in Kent. I can't believe anything is chaotic where Debs is concerned; she manages to get SO much done! This year she's helping organise a special music festival for people with disabilities - Festability. She's also the force behind the BAPS - the blogging awards for Bloody Awesome Parents of children with SEND.

Some more people who are inspirational to me are Chris Ulmer (Special Books By Special Kids), Jess (Diary of a Mom), Marc Carter (Little Blue Cup), Chris Bonnello (Autistic Not Weird), Anna Kennedy, Carly Jones, Charlie Beswick (Our Altered Life), Miriam Gwynne (Faithmummy), Anne Stone Sweet and many more.

It'd be hard to miss that a lot of these mentioned above are parents of children with additional needs. This is a community which I never knew existed before Sasha came along, and yet it is a huge community, full to bursting with amazing parents. So many of them offer support to others and I honestly wish I could mention each and every one of them. I'm hoping they will know when I say 'you know who you are'.

Last, but definitely not least, I'm going to end with all the volunteers who are working hard for the PDA Society. They have helped so many families including ours, and I'm hoping I can pay that back in some small way by helping them with the upcoming PDA conference and then further activities over the coming years.

All these people below make me feel at times like I should be doing more with my life; then I remind myself that everyone should only do what they are capable of. Know your own limits, don't stretch yourself to breaking point. Do what you can, when you can. We are all different after all and the world would be a duller place if we weren't!

Now, if you've made it to the end of my list, why not think of your own, and include them in our Monday Motivation linky below?!

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Thursday, 25 January 2018

Young Carers and Autism

Today is Young Carers Awareness Day
Stephs Two Girls December 2017

The reason my blog is named 'Steph's Two Girls' is because I always wanted it to be about both of them; I knew the diagnosis would affect the whole family. 

OK so it may not have been the most creative or inspired name for the blog, and I may have silently cursed it a few times when it comes to social media and others not knowing what it's all about at a glance, but I'm still glad I named it that way. It hopefully serves to remind everyone that although autism does have to play a huge part in this family, our eldest is as much a part of that family as our youngest. 

When people think of Young Carers I think they just narrow it down to those who have to help with medical tasks for sick parents or siblings. The reality is though, that living with a sibling with any kind of disability does make these children a carer. Their lives are different to those who just have neurotypical siblings. They can't be as carefree and think only of themselves; they often don't get to experience the easy family outings that others have. 

Our eldest girl is an amazing big sister and young carer. She might not have to do the obvious caring things, but every day she cares. Some of the ways she does this: she lets her younger sister always sit in the front of the car, she lets her always choose the music in the car, she lets her always win at games, she plays Minecraft with Sasha when Sasha wants that, even when she doesn't really feel like it, she tries to calm her down when she is getting stressed by bringing her things to help, or staying away - she knows the right thing to do at the right time. 

Every month I try to take a siblings photo and our eldest girl gently tries to persuade her autistic sister that it's a fun thing to do; she sits there patiently smiling while youngest messes about pulling faces. Eldest does this for me, because she knows how much I love those photos. 

She doesn't complain about not being able to go places, or about the fact that her younger sister has a later bedtime than her every night. She hasn't moaned at the fact that Sasha has been home with me all day every day for the past 6 months when she'd really like the opportunity to do that herself, for a week at least. She won't complain when she finds out that we've had to plan a holiday this year putting her sister's needs first (no flying due to extreme anxiety), she will just 'get it'. She understands. She's only 12. 

Our eldest has learnt to use all the Pathological Demand Avoidance strategies which we use, which is no mean feat - it's difficult enough for adults to understand and cope with. She’s a star. 
Stephs Two Girls november 2017

Here's a post I wrote back in 2016 about Autism and Siblings - cute photo alert!

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Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Our PDA story {Week 23}

Welcome to week 23 in my newly relaunched series 'Our PDA Story'. I'm handing my blog over to others who are living with the type of autism called Pathological Demand Avoidance in their family, so that they can explain how it has been for them.
our pda story logo with rainbow people

This week's contributor writes a very successful blog of her own called Notes on PDA and I'd definitely recommend popping over to check out her A-Z of demands series. Here, she talks about solutions and how to make life PDA friendly.


Creating a PDA friendly lifestyle

At age 6, and a few months before her PDA diagnosis, my daughter started refusing life as we knew it. Gradually, one by one she stopped attending her much loved classes. Then educational workshops and groups became too difficult for her to join in with and she refused to take part in the Christmas play which she absolutely loved doing the year before. Eventually she refused to leave the house for anything that wasn't visiting family. She just wanted her computer from morning until night. She worried about everything imaginable and was in a total panic all the time.

Thankfully, just over a year on, her anxiety has reduced drastically and that is because we’ve been confidently using PDA strategies and have created a PDA friendly lifestyle which looks very different to what life was like before the life refusal. I say life refusal because our daughter wasn’t attending school (she’s home educated) so she wasn’t refusing school, which is so often the case for children with PDA, she was refusing life. A life filled with fun and pleasant things, where she played with her friends every day. A life where she went to singing and dance classes and on nature walks and forest school and learnt French by playing games with a wonderfully supportive tutor, alongside her best friends. A life without targets or pressure to achieve milestones, she was free to visit her favourite places and discover the world around her every single day. We visited libraries, museums, zoos, farms, art galleries, science centres and explored towns, parks, woodlands and beaches.

Life was busy and full of wonderful experiences but this was not sustainable for her. As time passed, the strain of her difficulties and the effects of demands, masking and overload overwhelmed her and she was left depleted and unable to function as she once could. Around this time, she also started becoming more self-aware of her difficulties, especially of her demand avoidance as well as her fears and frustrations and aware of life's uncontrollable stuff and that this makes her anxious.

Our initial goal was to find ways to support her to be able to live that life again and I found myself measuring any progress against it and waiting to get back to something that resembled that lifestyle but I gradually realised that that wasn’t the best lifestyle for her to thrive in, it was what led to her burning out and it wasn’t PDA friendly. I hadn't appreciated how severe her Anxiety was until her paediatrician recommended she be prescribed medication (a beta blocker) because it was felt she was operating on such high anxiety levels ALL THE TIME that she would benefit from the calming effects the medication can provide.

Once this sunk in, along with her diagnosis and a better understanding of her particular strengths and difficulties, we knew that we needed to try to reduce her anxiety as much as possible, by creating a lifestyle to support her needs and our goal changed to finding ways to support her to live the life that's right for her, whatever that may be.

After a few months I noticed that with more downtime and fewer social interactions and reduced demands, her anxiety ebbs and flows, like waves, throughout the day rather than building up and up to the inevitable explosion at the end of the day when we arrived home. A slower paced life was what she (and we) needed to manage PDA as best we could. So we embraced this, and our lifestyle now moves at a much slower pace.

Some of the other elements which make our lifestyle PDA friendly include:

Allowing lots of time to get things done. Feeling rushed causes a great deal of anxiety for her. She needs longer processing time and to go at her own pace with everything she does which means taking her time so we allow lots of time to get things done and don’t hurry her.

Going with her flow as much as possible is necessary too so she feels as in control of her environment as possible. If she doesn’t feel up to doing something, we don’t (unless it’s essential) and if she’s keen to do something and suggest it (and it’s doable), we always try to because we know she might not be up to it again for a while so we grab the opportunity when it comes along. Life is more spontaneous than planned but for things we do plan, she’s involved as much as possible so she feels she has control and so there is no uncertainty or avoidable surprises.

Preparation, rest and recovery time are essential. Our lifestyle before had her out and about doing something social every day of the week and there just wasn’t enough downtime in between social situations and everyday demands for her anxiety to ever reduce to a low enough level to recover from overload, leaving her in a heightened state of anxiety all the time. Now we plan in plenty of downtime between events, outings, seeing friends etc, even between demands like baths and brushing teeth (and we don’t attempt a bath on days when something else is happening). This is so she has the chance to regulate her anxiety and be in the best state of mind for the next thing and able to get the most from it.

Prioritising which demands are necessary and which aren't and dropping the unnecessary ones each day, so she’s not bombarded with demands all the time is essential too. She often stays in her PJs all day on days in for example and by removing the demand to get dressed, she has more energy to use elsewhere on other, more essential or more valuable things.

She spends lots of time doing activities which are calming to relax her brain and give it the respite it needs from anxiety. This includes drawing, colouring, watching familiar videos on YouTube and TV and listening to favourite music and songs.
And we encourage her to be herself and we show her that her unique talents and skills are valuable. From this she has become comfortable with who she is and how she lives.  

Creating this PDA friendly lifestyle and using PDA strategies hasn’t changed her underlying needs and that was never the goal. Her needs are still the same, she needs control and certainty and experiences demand avoidance as well as difficulties with social communication and interaction, her emotions and sensory and information overload, but, this lifestyle has improved her wellbeing and quality of life and enabled her to get the most out of the things she does despite her difficulties. She feels safer and more in control and her anxiety has drastically reduced so she is able to consider and attempt different things again but at a more suitable and sustainable pace and she is able to home in on and develop her skills and talents and is making progress in learning how to manage aspects of her PDA.

We stay mindful of ensuring our lifestyle always matches her current needs and abilities and we tweak the ways we support her as needed and hope that modelling this for her will help her to be able to do the same in adulthood so that she’ll always live the very best life she can.

You can read more about how we support our daughter and follow our journey with PDA at my blog or on my Facebook page Notes on PDA.


Thanks for taking the time to read. It would help a lot if you can share this post further; in groups, on Facebook or Twitter, any way you choose. Just one more person reading who may not have otherwise seen it could make a big difference.

Please do leave any comments of support below; for more reading about Pathological Demand Avoidance, please see my blog post 'Challenging Behaviour and PDA'.

PDA can be mistaken for ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder); my most popular post explains the difference between PDA and ODD.

To look back on previous examples of PDA shown on my blog, visit This is our PDA story. This includes experiences from girls, boys, young and old, and includes some from adults diagnosed with PDA.

If you feel up to sharing your experiences with my readers to help spread understanding (this can be anonymously), please email

The PDA Society webpage has much more information, and a great variety of resources can be found on the PDA Resource website. 

The PDA Society are holding a PDA conference in Birmingham on 18th April 2018.  The keynote speakers are professionals who are very knowledgeable about PDA. 

Pathological Demand Avoidance Society website

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