Unmasking Mum by Lisa Lloyd {Book Review}

Unmasking Mum is the second published book from Lisa Lloyd, mum of two neurodivergent children. 

* The pictures and underlined book titles in this post contain Amazon affiliate links - as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Lisa is well known on social media for her honest and often funny accounts of raising her children - she can be found at ASD with a G and T (or @asd_with_a_g_and_t  on Instagram, and asd.with.a.g.and.t on TikTok!)

Her first book had the subtitle "An Honest Guide to Parenting the Kids Who Fall Between the Gaps" and it was a Sunday Times bestseller in 2025. My review of that book can be found on my blog here: Raising the SEN-Betweeners.

Unmasking Mum is a memoir from Lisa, sharing the story of her autism diagnosis at the age of 41. But as Lisa explains at the beginning of the book, she also explores what it's like to be a neurodivergent mum raising two neurodivergent children, in a very neurotypical world. 

The book begins with one of Lisa's poems, titled 'School Avoider'. This is followed by 16 chapters as follows:

1. Once upon a diagnosis
2. Hello, world
3. Throwing out the rule book

4. The constant moan of imposter syndrome

5. Antisocial behaviour

6. Stick to the routine

7. Can't touch this

8. Motherhood and meltdowns

9. Where has the village gone?

10. Who's behind the mask?

11. Low-demand friends are the best kind of friends

12. Odd mum out

13. Family genes

14. The need to be right

15. Overthinking

16. Finding me

In the first chapter we hear about how and why Lisa found herself in an autism assessment. Lisa's eldest son was diagnosed at the age of six, four years after his referral, whereas her daughter was (like our daughter) diagnosed earlier, at the age of 3. Like so many parents in the autism community, it was having diagnosed children that prompted Lisa to take a closer look at herself and to then go in search of some answers. My first laugh-out-loud moment while reading this book was the following quote (from page 11):

So it was weird to be sitting there for myself, after sitting in similar appointments so many times before with the kids. (I really feel that they should do the whole family in one go. It would be a lot quicker. Kind of like a really shit Home Bargains offer - buy one get two free.)

I loved this because a) it's funny and b) it's actually a good idea! I'm pretty sure that many parents of neurodivergent children will relate to it. 

In the next chapter, Hello world, Lisa discusses pregnancy and giving birth as an autistic woman. There was lots here that I nodded along to, such as how she shares her feelings about having no definite date for the birth:

There was no day or time booked in, as the only way this could happen would be to have a C-section. I was jealous of all the women who had a C-section booked. Mine could be weeks early, weeks late... who knew? An absolute nightmare for a person who likes to pre-plan things, as many autistic people do. But little did I know that I was growing an autistic baby inside me too. An autistic child who loves to follow rules - so he did exactly what was expected of him and came on his due date!

Funnily enough, both my girls arrived on their due dates too! The statistics suggest that only around 4% of babies are born on their predicted dates. Lisa manages to talk about the challenges of giving birth and having a newborn in a serious way whilst also keeping it light-hearted and funny.

Throwing out the rule book looks at how Lisa (and many of us!) started off by trying to follow the 'typical' parenting 'unwritten rules' before realising that her child needed a different approach. "Forcing us out all the time just meant that we were both overloaded and overwhelmed and had no recovery time. It wasn't until I got Fin's autism diagnosis that I gave myself a bit of a break. I finally realised that it wasn't my fault he was different; he was born this way and it was out of my control. However, due to my autism and my need for structure, I then naively began looking for a new rule book - a guide to parenting autistic children."

Lisa then writes about imposter syndrome before delving into the topic of social relationships throughout her life. 

One of the first signs that I could possibly be autistic was realising that I am not keen on crowds, or events... or people in general, for that matter.

Now I've met Lisa a couple of times, most recently at her book launch event, and I can tell you that she is SO lovely. 

I think to many she might come across as someone who is confident, and who loves talking to other people. She certainly lights up a room and I think lots of people who watch her social media videos would describe her as fun and bubbly. But Lisa herself goes on to explain:

It is common for autistic people to struggle in social situations, which can lead to them appearing to be anti-social - but this is usually because they avoid these circumstances through fear of 'getting it wrong' or being misunderstood. I had masked so well throughout my life that I had convinced myself I was an outgoing person who loved being around others. It wasn't until the children came along that I realised this is definitely not the case and people can overwhelm the hell out of me.

Later in the book Lisa writes more about masking and the challenges of maintaining friendships. She also covers routines, sensory issues/a strong aversion to touch, and having a strong sense of injustice.

What I love most about this book, apart from the humour, is how honest Lisa is throughout it. She shares how she has often felt like the 'odd mum out' but she hopes that sharing will help others 'make sense of the chaos'. Every chapter has a Top Tips section at the end - an example of what these are like, from the Motherhood and meltdowns chapter:

• Not all meltdowns look the same. Some people will just shutdown instead and it is just as important to recognise that the person is struggling in that moment.
• Try to recognise your triggers to help avoid them if you can.
• Get some ear defenders for yourself - not just the kids!
• When you feel a meltdown coming, try to remove yourself from the situation. As for help and for someone to take the kids so you can have some alone time to process your needs. It's not a weakness - knowing your limits is a strength.

This book is ideal for late diagnosed, neurodivergent parents, or those who have not yet taken the step towards that first assessment. It would also be great for partners, family members or friends who are open to learning and finding ways to support those who they love. It is available now in hardback from Amazon here: Unmasking Mum hardback

or as an Audiobook: Unmasking Mum audiobook (currently free with an audible trial. I receive a small sign-up affiliate payment from Amazon if you choose this option)

or there is also the Kindle option: Unmasking Mum on Kindle