Monday 26 February 2018

This Is Me

Yesterday I took our eldest girl to see The Greatest Showman. It was a singalong version, which was a little weird considering we hadn't seen it before, but the songs are so catchy that it didn't really matter.  

I'd asked Sasha if she wanted to come with us to the cinema with us, but she wasn't interested. She's never been a big movie fan anyway. We've been to the cinema with her for specific ones which have grabbed her attention before release - Inside Out and Trolls - and a couple of others which she's just about managed to sit through (My Little Pony, Home and Moshi Monsters). 

We loved the film, and all the fabulous music. One song stood out for me in particular though, and has been going round my head ever since. This Is Me.
girls on beach with arms wide and text I am who I'm meant to be. This Is Me.
'I am who I'm meant to be; This Is Me'

The words played over and over last night, and of course I thought of Sasha and the relevance to her. How she is different, how she is brave, and how she is amazing, like all of Barnum's tribe. 

I go through phases where I see people all around me doing better at life; am surrounded by many who seem to manage to achieve much more than I do on a daily basis. Whether it's campaigning on behalf of others for justice, such as Emma and Nikki, or changing hearts and minds by doing a Tedx talk like Hayley, talking about emotional and sensitive subjects like Steph (the other one!), sitting on toilets for an important cause like Sarah, gathering support for huge petitions like Laura, organising festivals for those with disabilities like Debs; the list is endless. 

Sometimes it's easy to feel like I'm not using my abilities to their full potential. What more can I do? Why can't I achieve all the things others do? 

But as I lay on the bed with Sasha last night, with her squeezing my hand tight as she tried to get off to sleep, as she does every night, I was happy to think 'This Is Me'. 

This is what I was meant to be, a Mum. The girls are my world and everything I do, I do for them (I have been dying to get a Bryan Adams reference in here for ages...). I'm sure there's others in the groups I'm in who probably doubt themselves from time to time, who maybe feel they are 'never enough'. I want to give them all the biggest hug and remind them that they are enough. 

Not everyone in life was made to be a driving force or to have a mission visible to many. That doesn't mean we should think any less of ourselves. 

So today I'm going with a different kind of motivation instead, inspired by the Barnum tribe. Be who you are meant to me.

To find out more about our experiences, please check out our 'About Us' page. If you are looking for more information on Pathological Demand Avoidance, the posts below may help.

What is PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)?

Ten things you need to know about Pathological Demand Avoidance

Does my child have Pathological Demand Avoidance?

The difference between PDA and ODD

Strategies for PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)

Pathological Demand Avoidance: Strategies for Schools

Challenging Behaviour and PDA

Is Pathological Demand Avoidance real?

Autism with demand avoidance or Pathological Demand Avoidance?

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