I can see things in my own colour {Book review}

Megan Horan is a young autistic adult who has written the book I can see things in my own colour. Megan was diagnosed with autism and anxiety at the age of 13, after an early recognition of speech and language difficulties when she was a toddler. She has been sharing her experiences for the last couple of years via her Facebook page, One Blog at a Time.

I can see things in my own colour has 35 short chapters; the first 16 chapters are a poem that Megan began writing with her support worker before the pandemic lockdowns. Megan explains what she was hoping for by writing this book:

This book is about how autistic people see things in their eyes and how it can affect them in everyday life. This could be shown through emotions, understanding other people and knowing they show empathy towards others. I hope, it brings out acceptance and brings hope or even positivity, knowing that autistic people may see things like life in black and white. However, there is so much colour in this world that we see in our own unique ways. The second part of this book is also about my own journey with having autism alongside the difficulties I faced throughout my childhood to adulthood. I wanted to write this book as I do not want anyone to feel they are alone in this world. I wished I had this book when I was a teenager who felt alone.

Megan writes briefly about her early years and primary school experiences, mentioning her speech difficulties and about how the hardest thing about being a child was trying to fit in with her peers. She was bullied at a young age but found it too difficult to stand up for herself and tell anyone about it. In terms of education, Megan was having interventions with Maths and English but describes feeling as if she was on 'standby', falling behind, not able to keep up with her peers. The Local Authority refused the application for a Statement of Educational Needs for her though, so for secondary she was given a place at a mainstream school. 

During Year 8 Megan was finally awarded the Statement (now known as an EHCP) and was told she would need to move to a SEN school. She writes about how she felt about having to move on and how difficult the change was for her. There's a chapter about friendships and about Sixth Form and then Megan bravely discusses the challenges she faced with depression and anxiety, which led to self-harm and a suicide attempt. 

Going back to school was anxiety-inducing for me.

Megan explains that she felt overwhelmed and was having panic attacks and this led to some avoidance at times over the course of her school years. She also writes about how difficult it was to find the right help. But she has managed to come through all of this, and to write a book in which she shares lots of helpful advice for other young people and their families.

After finishing at her school Megan began studying health and social care at a mainstream college, but she found it difficult to cope with the environment there. Now she volunteers in a primary school while taking online courses instead.

This book is full of insights and emotion. It is an expression of how it can really feel to experience the world as an autistic child. Writing any kind of book is an amazing achievement but even more so when it's so personal and honest. I think this book would be enlightening for any parents, carers, educators and professionals working with autistic children and young adults. Available from Amazon now: I can see things in my own colour.

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