Wednesday 9 March 2011

Ah, the return of the meltdown..... Statement, anyone?

So. Today was not exactly a good day. Things have been ticking along quite well for Sasha though so I guess I should have realised we were about to go off the end of the rollercoaster ride again (I think I did anticipate this, subconsciously... but that doesn't mean I made it happen!!).

Nothing too unusual about this morning - she didn't want to get dressed in her uniform again, and so on to the usual game playing to try and persuade her to get dressed and leave the house. However she was slightly more adamant this morning, and although I managed to sneak her tracksuit bottoms on (no mean feat, believe me), she would not let me remove her nightie (actually an old summer dress, her favourite bedtime attire at the mo). We had this type of issue a couple of weeks back, and I did end up taking her to school in just her polo shirt and nappy, which Tamsin thought was hysterically funny. Fortunately, as Tamsin was laughing so much, that time it did get Sasha out of the mood and she let me put the tracksuit bottoms on in the car when we got to school.

This morning though, Sasha was quite pleased that she'd been able to keep the nightie on, and she skipped into school wearing it. Again with some clever trickery I managed to get her polo shirt on - 'ooh, look over there at that smart, dressed girl', which didn't mean Sasha wanted to be like her, just that she had been distracted for long enough for me to whip the dress off and get the top on. Then it was forgotten as the school door opened and in she went happily.

Or so I thought. After collecting her from nursery they mentioned she'd been a bit off and not wanting to join in with most things all day. She then started to get very upset very quickly, asking to go back in to get her nightie, which she presumably thought I had left on her peg for her. No amount of me explaining that it was now at home (and even more unfortunately, in the wash, though I thought it best not to mention that!) could pacify her and she started to get quite distressed, not sure what she wanted. She wanted to walk home, but didn't want to walk or be carried back to the car. It was almost tempting to leave the car and walk the 30 minutes home, except I knew she would want to be carried after the first 5 minutes, so it was never going to happen. By the time I had got her back to the car she was beside herself, pulling at her trousers - although not wanting me to take them off for her. I would have stripped her in the street completely if it had helped at that point, as she was so distressed, but I just had to kneel on the ground and hold her to try and calm her down. Thankfully all the other mums had left at this point, no-one to see the tears streaming down my cheeks as I tried to make her feel better.... She did calm down a bit, but it soon cranked back up again as I tried to get her into the car. That's difficult when they don't want to, you're really scared you're going to hurt them or that they will hurt themselves as they bang around. Eventually I got her in the seat in the back (usually she loves going in the front, but just would not go in the seat there) and we set off home. She was quiet to start with, largely I think because she realised I was upset (although I may be kidding myself there!), but as we got about half way she started screaming that she wanted to go a 'different' way home. I have started driving home a different route on some days, particularly when requested by Sasha, as I feel it's always good to try and do things differently and not stick to the same old routines all the time in case there's a time when you just can't.

The thing is, when I say screaming, I mean really screaming, to the point of making herself sick - just because she didn't like the way we were going. But it's not in a naughty way, she was seriously upset by it for whatever reason. So I did take a different route within our estate, and that did mollify her slightly. When we got in she just wanted to lie on the sofa and do nothing (not even watch TV!), with me by her side, for a good 20 minutes. Then she requested sandwiches, then more sandwiches (and crisps), and then she started bouncing around again as if nothing had happened. For the next 2 hours, all was fine - until it came to leaving the house again to collecting big sis. Which of course she initially didn't want to do, but then when I told her we no longer needed to as Daddy would be able to collect her, she then did desperately want to leave the house.

I'm not sure what was up today really; she may be coming down with something. To be honest, it's all very tiring. The rollercoaster/unpredictable bit is quite difficult. I'd love to get more involved and stand up and be heard about my views on SEN, experience of Statementing, funding (lack of), SALT (lack of) and the government reviews/green paper on SEN etc, but at times like this I just don't have the energy. So many people see her doing well at the new nursery and think she doesn't need any help. If I could just feel optimistic that Sasha will get the Statement and extra help she will need throughout her school life, I'm sure that would help.


  1. Good grief! I'm tired just reading that! It's awful when u have days like this. Emotionally draining! Had a similar day on sunday when my daughter refused to eat. So frustrating! I hope the rest of your week is easier. X

  2. Hi Steph - I get lots of this with Nancy too.. I am sure it is different but she gets incredibly angry, screaming fits the lot when things don't go her way, wanting things done very specifically and inconsolable if you can't oblige. It is definitely linked to tiredness but sometimes it is like she wakes up tired and will scream at anyone who comes near her - unless it is me (I seem to be exempt from it mostly).. Anyway, I have wondered about whether there was any link with autism before.. Good luck with everything, keep writing it all down, I am sure it must help. And remember you are doing the most important job in the world which both your girls will be incredibly grateful to you for when they are old enough to appreciate it. LOts of love for now K xxx

  3. Oh No Steph. God love you. What a very difficult day. Poor Sasha too. It is so distressing for them. When a day starts off so wrong for them it just seems to go from one thing to the next and they get to the point that they simply can't help themselves.

    I remember it so well. I remember Wiiboy trying to tear the clothes of Mr Jazzy one morning (that's my job!!)'cos he was dressed before him :-(

    I used to a picture schedule for him which helped somewhat. No doubt you're doing that anyway.

    Good for you on taking different routes! i was stuck in a rut on that one for ages! He'd get so upset if I veered from the normal way home!

    I do hope you had a better day today and that you get some help. Soon.

    xx Jazzy


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