Wednesday 16 March 2011

'Thinking of you mummy' - good timing in the run up to Mothers Day :)

So I'm wondering if the bin men have a personal vendetta against me, or is it really written in their job description that they have to come while I'm on on the school run, then leave the empty bin right in the middle of the drive so I have to stop the car in the middle of the road and move it first before being able to drive?

Hey ho, not even that can dampen my spirits today - an amazing turn-around from yesterday which was another not-so-great day (more later!). I'm happy for two reasons: first, they played 2 great songs on the radio as I was driving back from the school run, Take On Me and Rhythm Of The Night. I just love old songs that I can really sing along too, pretty much anything from the 80s really - they bring back many happy memories of a time when I was young and carefree!

But secondly and more importantly, was how Sasha was when I took her to nursery this morning. We didn't really have the huge battle of getting dressed this morning (minor dissent but that's nothing!), but somehow we still ended up leaving a bit late. This means that when we got to nursery the 3 important places at the computers had already been taken (for Sasha the other 3 places sitting next to the person in control of the mouse really aren't worth having!) and so disappointment for her of course. However today she hovered watching them from behind, then turned back to give me a big hug of her own accord, said 'bye' unprompted, and then - the best bit - said 'Thinking of you mummy'! As in, I will be thinking of you, and missing you during the day, but I'm OK with that. Such a little thing to many maybe, but a huge thing for me showing that Sasha does have some understanding of emotion but can also control it - sometimes. So I left with a big grin and skipped off back to my car. Brilliant :)

Yesterday was not such a success however - when I went to collect Sasha after lunch she was wailing away in the classroom and I was called in to explain what had been going on. She had refused to wash her hands before lunch, which is strange as that is part of a routine she has been doing with all the other boys and girls for 8 weeks now. Once told she wouldn't get her lunch if she didn't, she then dug her heels in and continued have a huge tantrum, for pretty much the whole 45 minutes of lunch club. To the point where although she was finally offered her food (and she loves her sandwiches!) she just couldn't get over it and calm down again enough to eat. I felt sorry for the staff, but strangely also slightly relieved at the same time, as for me it's almost as if I've been waiting for this breakdown to come - and other people need to see/experience it in order to be able to begin to understand. The main trouble with Sasha is that she does want to have control, and I think whilst the nursery have done a good job of keeping her under their control so far, it was only a matter of time before the lid blew. The unpredictability of when that is going to happen is probably what is most difficult to deal with, along with how to calm her back down once it's in full flow. My main fears are that when she starts reception in September, and the day is longer, I'll be called in to pick up the pieces. Or else have to deal with the pressure cooker lid blowing off at home more frequently :)

To end on an amusing note, my day yesterday had more to it than that. Tamsin had been off school poorly, so as we went back at lunchtime to collect Sasha I thought it would be OK to leave Tamsin in the car by the school gates whilst I ran to get Sasha. Left the car locked with her in it, as she was worried a stranger may try and get in, and so I warned her the alarm may go off if she moved around, but not to be frightened by it. Well my trip to get Sasha took a little longer than expected due to situation described above, so I was back at the car in about 15 minutes. I found it with the hazards flashing, so obviously the alarm had gone off although from where I was I couldn't hear it. No problem really, apart from the fact Tamsin looked a little scared... she said some lady (who she didn't recognise and couldn't see nay children with) had tried to get in the car when the alarm was going off, presumably to try and help Tamsin (although she was fine). So I quickly sped off, worried that whoever it was had gone to call the police, or social services.... last thing I need is to be branded an irresponsible mum!

Still no news from either the Statement people or the NHS SALT service. Feels like we're stuck in limbo land as time ticks on. So normal life has to carry on - off to do the food shop now. Must.Not.Buy.HotXBuns.


  1. This is so true:

    "and other people need to see/experience it in order to be able to begin to understand"

    Until other people experience a meltdown they have no idea what it is like, how hard it is to manage, and just how parenting a child with autism is just at an entirely different level!

  2. You must have been spying on my house just described a typical happening with us :)

    I;m sorry that is was such a "trying" day :(


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