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Monday, 30 January 2012

Too young to be a School Refuser?

Sasha's first words this morning were those I've been dreading hearing.

'Mum I don't want to go to school ever again'.

I didn't think they'd come quite so soon to be honest. I just told her the teacher would be sad if Sasha wasn't there any more and her reply was 'doh, alright'. I expected more of a fight than that!! 

Actually it's easy to be blase and laugh it off now, but it is a real concern. Not in the way that most children would say they don't want to go to school given half a chance, but in a more permanent kind of way. I've met several mums in the blogging world and real life who have issues with school refusers, and it really does make their daily lives very stressful indeed. Contrary to some views, you can't just make them go to school because you are bigger than they are.... Likewise I know of other ASD girls who are often sent home and excluded because of their behaviour, and that is equally stressful. So my fingers are permanently tightly crossed that Sasha doesn't begin to really mean it, and that she doesn't have any more trips to see the Head....

I was pleased this morning as Sasha's second thought was 'is X coming to play after school today?'. This shows a huge leap in her understanding of time, as I hadn't mentioned about the playdate again since it was arranged last Thursday. That means she had realised it was Monday morning and that today was the day - sounds simple, but it's not something she's really grasped up until now. It means that I can hopefully start to talk more in advance about things which are going to happen in the future (such as the school trip to the zoo on Wednesday, yikes!). Again, unless you have to do it, it's difficult to understand just how stressful it is to try not to mention or talk about anything in advance for fear of confusion. It has meant that since having Sasha, our lives have generally been run in a last-minute, hope it's going to work out OK kind of way. Which is difficult for someone who likes to try to be super organised and have everything planned in advance!

I'm also chuffed to have made Tamsin's journey to school a bit more pleasant this morning by letting her use an ipod with headphones. Sasha has banned all sound in the car again.... hmmm, now how to stop Tamsin from singing along out loud to all the catchy songs?!

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